Are you leading or just managing?
Last week in one of my private Leading Through Complexity cohorts, a leader asked me:
“What’s the real difference between a manager and a leader?”
It’s a question I’ve been asked before. But this time, it hit differently.
Probably because I’d just binged the 2nd season of America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders on Netflix, and was thinking about it through that lens...
Here's what I told him:
A manager keeps the trains running. They assign tasks, set deadlines, push paper, and make sure the boxes get checked.
A leader? They develop people. They build trust. They make you feel seen, supported, and valued.
It’s not about the title on your business card. It’s about how you show up through the tangible actions that you take.
And the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, well they can really help demonstrate this!
If you’ve watched America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, you know the names Kelli Finglass (Director) and Judy Trammell (Head Choreographer). They’ve been fixtures in the DCC world for decades.
And technically, they’re the ones “in charge.” But you already know by now that my stance on leadership is that it's not just about tenure or title.
Kelli and Judy have had moments of strength, like how they support the team behind the scenes from crying with veterans, to offering mentorship that feels deeply personal.
But they’ve also had BIG misses.
Like last season, when a conversation with veteran cheerleader Victoria, who’d given her entire heart to the team, was handled with an astonishing lack of compassion.
It was a moment where “manager” energy took over and both Kelli & Judy were clearly only focused on optics and control rather than empathy and respect.
And it hurt to watch (it still makes me cringe if I'm honest).
Now contrast that with the section leaders, the veteran dancers who didn’t hold formal power but embodied leadership every day.
They led rehearsals. They carried emotional weight. They set the tone for connection and performance.
And this year (well technically I think it was last year)? They did something most people in their position wouldn’t dare to do:
They organized.
They hired lawyers.
They asked for what they deserved.
And after years of being paid pennies for elite-level work, they successfully pushed for a 400% raise for DCC team members.
Many of those section leaders won’t even benefit from that raise. They’re retiring. But they fought for it anyway.
That’s what leadership looks like.
Not doing what’s easiest, but doing what’s right.
Not holding power, but using your voice.
Not waiting for change, but making it happen.
This is why I say:
Managers manage tasks. Leaders take action.
What this means for you
Here’s the myth that holds a lot of people back:
“I’m not in charge, so I’m not a leader.”
But leadership isn’t something you magically unlock with a promotion. It’s something you can practice every day through the actions you choose.
You can be a manager and not lead. And you can be an intern, an assistant, a contractor, a team of one, and still lead in powerful, visible, meaningful ways.
Leadership is the how, not the who.
It’s how you show up. How you treat people. How you take ownership, extend support, and push for better EVEN, and really ESPECIALLY when it’s hard.
Just like the DCC section leaders. They didn’t have the final say. But they made change happen anyway.
3 Ways to Shift From Manager Mode to Leader Mode
From assigning tasks → to building trust
Instead of just making sure things get done, make space to ask: “What would help you feel more confident tackling this?”From checking boxes → to noticing people
Take 60 seconds to recognize someone’s effort, not just their outcomes. You don’t need a formal review to say: “I see how much heart you’re putting into this.”From staying quiet → to speaking up (kindly, clearly)
Leadership doesn’t mean bulldozing. But it does mean being willing to say: “This isn’t working and I think we can do better.”
These are small shifts, but they hold really big impact when you act on them.
Remember that leadership is a choice you make in small moments.
The DCC section leaders didn’t wait for someone else to do it. They took the lead because they knew it mattered.
And so do your actions. Every single day.