No is not a complete sentence
This week, I want to talk about something that’s been rattling around in my brain (and in a few client conversations lately):
We’ve been told “no” is a complete sentence. But let’s be honest, it rarely feels like one.
Sure, it’s technically true. But professionally? Socially? Saying just no can feel more like a slap than a boundary.
If a friend asked me to help her move and I said “No,” full stop, you’d probably think I was a jerk. And you'd be right.
The same is true at work. If you’re asked to take on another project and you simply say, “No,” you might be protecting your time but at the cost of your credibility.
That’s why I teach the leaders I work with to use something I call ⤵️
The perfect excuse
The Perfect Excuse is a short, honest explanation for why you’re saying no, offered with enough context to make the decision make sense, without over-justifying or apologizing. It’s the kind of reason that earns respect and preserves relationships.
And let's clear something up from the get-go, “excuse” doesn’t mean weasel-y or manipulative. In fact, I love Merriam-Webster’s definition of it:
“A note of explanation.”
That’s it. A reason. A little context.
The thing that makes your “no” land with understanding instead of resentment.
A Perfect Excuse is one that’s:
True. (We’re not in the business of lying, especially not when we want to also build trust.)
Understandable. (So clear that the other person nods their head in agreement.)
Enough. (You don’t have to justify it into the ground. Just explain it.)
A real-life example:
Let’s say someone asks you to lead another project because “you always get it across the finish line.”
You’re maxed out. You want to say no. But instead of just declining, you say:
“I’d love to but I can’t take it on right now. I’ve got a new team member and I’m focused on training and onboarding to set them (and us) up for success.”
That’s a Perfect Excuse because it's clear, it's true and it makes sense. It also protects your time without harming the relationship.
Here’s a quick MadLibs-style template to create your own:
I’d love to but I can’t take it on right now because I’m focused on [insert priority]. Once that’s in a good place, I’m happy to revisit, but I want to give both things the time and energy they deserve.
You’re not bailing. You’re not overexplaining. You’re simply choosing clarity over confusion.
And now, to make this extra fun, let’s look at how two wildly successful fantasy authors are handling this exact challenge...
Leadership Lessons from Two Fantasy Authors
Right now, fans are (not-so-patiently) waiting for the next books in two of the biggest fantasy series on the planet:
Sarah J. Maas — (author of Throne of Glass, A Court of Thorns & Roses, Crescent City)
Rebecca Yarros — ( author of the Fourth Wing series + a ton of contemporary romance)
Both authors are in the “deep writing cave.” But only one is handling the public pressure with a Perfect Excuse.
Let’s start with Sarah.
Fans have been begging for updates. For over a year, she’s gone quiet. No timeline. No context. Just...crickets. Until two weeks ago when she finally posted a champagne-popping clip on Instagram and announced she’d finished a draft.
Cool. But frustratingly vague if you ask me. 🫠
Now let’s look at Rebecca.
She’s been honest and open from the start by very clearly explaining that while the next Fourth Wing book is coming, she’s also juggling her contemporary romance series, health concerns, and other obligations.
She’s not overexplaining. She’s giving us context. And guess what? Readers get it. They’re still excited. And they trust her.
Because she offered a Perfect Excuse.
The leadership takeaway?
Boundaries are only part of the equation. Communication is the other half.
You can’t just ghost people or bark “no” and expect trust to stay intact. We’re in 2025. We can do better than silence and side-eyes.
And honestly? It takes less effort to offer a Perfect Excuse than it does to repair the damage that silence or snark can cause.